The Best Days of My Life: A COVID-19 Story

COVID-19+is+so+amazing%2C+I+hope+the+vaccine+never+comes.+

Dominic Haggard

COVID-19 is so amazing, I hope the vaccine never comes.

COVID-19 has bettered certain aspects of our insane world. Here are a few that have stuck out to me.

 

Now that COVID-19 has graced us with its presence, I no longer worry about our family Thanksgiving Dinner. Heading to my uncle’s house on Thanksgiving after an eight-hour drive is a joy.  Last year, I shook the hand of some third cousin who asked me how my year of high school had been, and I tried to guess their name, which my great uncle (and every other extended relative throughout the house) really didn’t like. What I told them was that I was sorry, and they should feel free to drop by the kid’s table convoluted with babies and toddlers where I sat every year. That way, their name would really stick in my head.

Virtual school is another benefit of the lockdown. There’s nothing that can compare to reciting my interpretation of “The Autobiography of Malcolm X” to the blank screens of my classmates while my brother plays the saxophone for his virtual band class (because regular band class wasn’t bad enough). These wonderful demented saxophone squacks cause my dog’s ears to suddenly bleed, so she has no other choice but to look directly into my brother’s eyes and start wailing. Honestly, I don’t blame her. The icing on the cake is that one time, my brother fainted during class while watching a video of someone getting a rod implanted in their back, and doesn’t that just scream “education?” 

COVID-19 has given me a new appreciation for my dad’s allergies. He says they are spring/fall allergies, but they seem to occur year-round. His allergies have pros and cons. Pro: A sneezing fit while shopping is an efficient way to clear out the lines at the check-out stand. Con: A sneezing fit at mini golf leads to dirty looks and a chance that we may be expelled from hole five.

What some people hate most about COVID is spending everyday in their homes. However, where some see a problem, I see a solution. I can now study my entire family’s daily routine with such clarity it feels like I should probably stop for my family’s safety. My family’s daily routines look like this:  my brother storms off to his room after his computer dies in the middle of a zoom meeting,  while my dad shrieks at his very confused assistant in the middle of a zoom for his law practice. I can’t really blame dad for instances like that, as my cat starts to meow at the top of her lungs every day, and it seems as if this only happens when he is on a zoom meeting. He tells us the shrieks from the cat greatly concern the partners at his law firm, who can only assume that the cat’s paw fell off.

Quarantine life is amazing. I have watched every episode of “The Office…” twice. I have learned from my godfather exactly how a colonoscopy works over Zoom.  This information will greatly help me in my day to day life as a sophomore in high school. Also, I have pieced together how to bake a lemon cake, which allowed my family to work on their acting skills, as they clearly did not like it. I found a bit of the cake in the trash, thrown over into the neighbor’s backyard, and a bit of it was in the dog’s food bowl. 

Make sure that these aspects of our new life will be things that you will always remember so we can all make the best of the unusual situation we are living in. Now if you’ll excuse me, I have to throw my brother’s saxophone out the window in hopes of euthanizing the neighbor’s yapping dog.

Print Friendly, PDF & Email