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Long dance of high school romance explained

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Disclaimer: I have a limited amount of experience in this department, but I do watch my fair share of sappy movies and listen to stories of high school romance at its finest.

Join me on a journey to unravel the complex web of high school romance.

Entering through the giant letter D into our high school, my eyes widened at the sight of so many new prospects. New classes to take, new friends to make, but most importantly, all of the boys, fresh meat.

Being thrown into high school, I still felt like the awkward preteen I once was. I recall being flabbergasted at the sight of my peers making out right in front of me at dances, as I awkwardly attempted to fist pump to a sub-par EDM beat in a dark sweaty pit of erupting hormones.

I remember freshman year squealing with joy if a seating assignment had worked in my favor.

Having the same classes as a crush was nearly as important as grades or getting into college.

“It’s sort of like being shot in the heart. It’s an inescapable pain that comes back to haunt you day after day,” senior Rex Collenette said.”

— Rex Collenette

I wonder if teachers purposefully place students next to each other who they would think would be a cute couple.

I also wonder if teachers know all the juicy gossip and who is dating who.

“I don’t usually notice, but I’ve seen people flirt with other people and that might have influenced the groupings I’ve made,” social studies teacher Kathleen McCormick said.

If I were a teacher, I would be matchmaking left and right and I guarantee that I would too involved in it to actually teach my students.

“When I was in high school, it was obvious who was dating because kids walked around holding hands. They would make out everywhere all over campus, but kids don’t do that anymore,” social studies teacher Francie Salle said.

I would soon learn that unlike the world of High School Musical, actual high school boys don’t sing, or dance, or want to be your boyfriend. All they want to do is “hookup.”

According to the reliable and world renowned website, “hooking up” means “anything from kissing and touching to oral sex or intercourse. Vagueness is the hallmark. A girl can say ‘I hooked up with so and so’ and no one knows what she did. It protects you and makes you a player at the same time.”

The ambiguity of the term “hooking up” puts students in a state of confusion and protects them from legitimate commitment.

Way way back in the 20th century, a romantic evening consisted of dinner and a movie, maybe a long stroll in a beautiful setting and, if things progressed to hand holding, you did all the right moves and would be mentally high-fiving yourself.

Today, a 10 second Snapchat with a flirtatious emoji thrown in the middle of a poorly structured sentence is considered “romantic.” Sad.

“Sometimes it will happen where a guy will have a thing for you and you won’t even know because they will Snapchat your friend saying ‘Ayy what’s up with your friend?’ And I’m like boi just talk to me not my friend,” ninth grader Abby Schultz said.

There are many unwritten rules that are followed in the beginning stages of a blooming high school romance.

“When I was in high school, it was obvious who was dating because kids walked around holding hands. They would makeout everywhere all over campus, but kids don’t do that anymore,” Salle said.”

— Francie Salle

One of the most popular imaginary rules is the waiting five minutes to respond to a text, Snapchat or DM.

This creates the illusion that you actually have a life, and you are out doing things instead of being posted up in your room, heart racing eager for a reply.

In new high school relationships, the way the two people act on social media downright doesn’t reflect how they act in real life.

That sly “u up” text that many oblivious dudes send out to that girl they think is “fire” is not as romantic and swoon worthy as they think.

One minute teens will be texting each other “I love yous” and the next minute they’ll be walking down the hall, see their person and book it as fast as possible past them, failing to make eye contact.

People have forgotten how to flirt in person. Sad.

Instead of breaking up in person and actually talking through feelings, relationships will often end via social media and texting.

My question is why take extra time to text a novel rant when you could simply open your mouth and let your emotions spill out to your soon to be ex-girlfriend or boyfriend.

Frequently, youngins lie about how much experience they’ve had. When asked the question “how many girlfriends/boyfriends have you had?” the real number is multiplied by at least five creating intimidating, fake confidence. When this topic comes up in bro to bro conversations, I can only assume that their experience is multiplied even more. What happened to being truthful? When did innocence become embarrassing and unattractive?

In the years without a car, the struggle to “get your nut” is real. Without a car, finding a place and time to hook up without your parents or siblings catching you is mission impossible. Having a car is life-changing.

Speaking of struggles, the painful friend zoning is always an issue sticking up like that stray hair that drives you crazy and never goes down.

“It’s sort of like being shot in the heart. It’s an inescapable pain that comes back to haunt you day after day,” senior Rex Collenette said.

Painfully awkward situations go hand in hand with hookup territory.

Romance in high school is confusing, short-lived and quite frankly hilarious. Uncomfortable situations always loom ahead, but I advise you to break the chain and look your hookup in the eye, smile and move on with your life. Don’t be the one who runs into a pole attempting to avoid eye contact.

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The Student News Site of Sir Francis Drake High School
Long dance of high school romance explained